Pretty Guardian Sailor Fangirls
by Mistress Nika
Summary: The adventures of two senshi who live in a far away place called Fangirl Land! Watch as they lead normal lives and fight the forces of evil, while making time for their daily bishy groping and chocolate lattes. DISCONTINUED


**Title:** Pretty Guardian Sailor Fangirls  
**Author:** Mistress Nika (nikasama1480-'at'-yahoo.com) with credit to Silent for inspiration and material  
**Rating:** PG  
**Pairings:** Absolutely none!   
**Warnings:** total insanity, hints of drug use  
**Disclaimer:** I own Nika (cause she's me ); Sailor Neko Hanyou and Sailor Silent Angel belong to my friend Silent; Silent of course belongs to herself; Bishoujo Senshi Sera Muun, Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, and Yugioh belong to their glorious creators. The only money I make off this is the people who pay me to stay FAAAAR away from them!   
**Summary:** It's the adventures of two unknown senshi who live in a far away place called Fangirl Land! Watch as they lead normal lives and fight the forces of evil, while making time for their daily bishy groping and chocolate lattes. Yugioh/Pretty Guardian crossover...sorta...

* * *

Mysterious Announcer Guy's voice floats through the air. "TODAY ON ..." (dramatic music plays) "**PRETTY GUARDIAN SAILOR FANGIRLS!!!** Nika and Silent enjoy a break from their hectic lives at a cyber-cafe, unaware of the trouble brewing in Nika's own home. Bakura manages to find Nika's 'special' candy and goes on a rampage of wanton destruction! Will our heroines be able to stop him before the citizens of Fangirl Land pay the price!? Will Silent ever perfect her transformation!? Find out in today's episode of:" (dramatic music plays again) **"PRETTY GUARDIAN SAILOR FANGIRLS!!!"  
**  
(bouncy theme song plays to clips of the cast)  
  
Hitomi wa itsumo jewels  
Bodi ni matou lame' and charms  
Ikite yuku koto wa   
try get chance!   
Koko ni aru kara tsuyoi yume   
  
Gangan kechirashitekou   
Raibaru darake no mahiru   
Egao yori kuchibiru yori   
Aibiimu ga kimewaza!   
  
Watashi ni nare   
Kirari to sailor diamonds!   
Yoake ni umareru guardian  
Watashi dakara kanau yo   
starlight prayers!   
Make up shiyou yo   
Kirameki wa mune ni   
Sera senshi sore wa   
Moonlight Real Girl!   
  
Silent's voice: "Hey, didn't you steal that?"  
Mysterious Announcer Guy: "......no...." (-.-)  
  
The title screen appears followed by the episode name; _"Pretty Guardian Sailor Fangirls; Act Seven: Bakura and the 'Special' Chocolate"_  
  
Today finds one of our stars sitting in a computer cafe, sipping chocolate lattes and ogling bishys. Nika is sitting at a computer, staring intently at the screen. Her fingers move swiftly over the keys, spuriously clicking the mouse. She wears a mask of intense concentration. Pausing for a moment, she pushes her glasses back up on her nose where they had slid down, and then returns to her work.  
  
Suddenly the door opens and Silent comes in. Walking over to her extremely distracted friend, she proceeds to cry, "**_NIKA-CHAN!!!"_** at the top of her lungs and throws her arms around the older girl in her trademark super kawaii chibi glomp!  
  
Without warning Nika spins around in her seat with a huge grin and throws her arms around the kawaii girl with a cry of "**_SILENT-CHAN!!!"_** She proceeds to give her the trademark super mega bishy ogling glomp!  
  
After prying themselves away from each other, Silent orders a triple chocolate latte with extra chocolate and then plops down beside her friend.  
  
"What'cha doing!?" Silent asks innocently.  
  
Nika quickly covers the screen with both hands and cries, "Don't look!! It's too horrible for words!!"  
  
Silent cocks her head to the side in a very kawaii way and makes a questioning sound. "Hoi?" (='.'=)  
  
Nika proceeds to cry enormous fake tears of sadness and removes her hands from the screen. Silent takes a look at said screen and becomes even more confused.  
  
"It's BARE!!!" Nika cries in mock horror. "There's nothing HERE!!!"  
  
Silent pets Nika's head sympathetically and says, "There, there. It'll get dressed soon. I promise."  
  
Nika nods and sniffs a few times before getting a malicious gleam in her eye.  
  
Silent sees the look and, recognizing it, grins cutely. "Oh!" she cries happily, "Who are you gonna molest this time?" (=D)  
  
Nika turns back to the computer with a smile and says ambiguously, "You'll see."  
  
Nika then begins working with single-minded attention on whatever project she has started now. Silent, seeing her friend's preoccupation, turns to her 'work' on another computer. She giggles as she ogles the pictures on the screen.  
  
A few minutes later, Nika turns to Silent with a glazed look and asks simply, "Who's your favorite couple?"  
  
"SetoXJou!" Silent replies with a kawaii grin.  
  
"Cutie or sexy?" Nika inquires again.  
  
"SEXY!!" Silent replies.  
  
Nika just nods and turns back to the screen, resuming her work without so much as an explanation.  
  
Silent, familiar with such strange behavior, immediately goes back to what she was doing. "Oh!" she giggles to herself, "Jou's been a bad puppy! He need's punishing!"  
  
Elsewhere:  
The kitchen window of Nika's house slides silently open. White hair makes an appearance as Bakura pops his head up and looks around. Seeing that the lights are off and no one's home, he cautiously makes his way inside. Creeping through the house, he quickly pockets several pieces of expensive looking jewelry and a handful of spare change. Then he comes across a small black box sitting on Nika's nightstand. After eying it suspiciously for a few minutes ... he opens it. Inside is a large bar of dark chocolate.   
  
Now, ever since what he likes to call the Dog Incident with Ryou, Bakura has always had an affinity for dark chocolate. In one swift move he swoops in on the candy bar, frees it of it's box and devours it in a happy gulp.   
  
Of course, he didn't think to wonder why that candy bar was alone in a black box beside the bed. Why it had no wrapper or identifying marks of the company who made it. And of course, the slight tingly feeling as the chocolate made a home in his stomach was just the warm satisfaction of the delicious candy itself. As his eyes dilated to mere specks and a happy grin settled on his face, it never crossed his mind that he had just eaten something that had been suspiciously stored in possibly the most dangerous place on earth ... Nika's bedroom.  
  
Back at the cyber-cafe:  
Nika finally comes up for air with a triumphant grin on her face. "Done!" she says happily. "For now anyway."  
  
"Oh!" Silent cries, bouncing up and down in her seat. "I wanna see!"  
  
"Kay!" Nika says, however as she's about to display her work to her friend her gaze falls on one of the windows. Or more specifically, something beyond it. "Hey?" she says slightly confused, "Where's Bakura going with those matches?" (O.o)  
  
Silent whips her head around to watch as Bakura skips by with a happy grin on his face and a box of matches in his hand. (o.o) "Let's follow him!" she suggests and they both rush out of the cafe and follow along behind him at a safe distance.  
  
The psychotic yami continues on his merry journey through the city completely oblivious to the world around him. As he enters his own house, Nika and Silent hide in the bushes and watch him through the window. He proceeds to rummage through a drawer with a creepy happy smile, searching for some elusive something.  
  
"What do you think he's looking for?" Silent asks in a whisper.  
  
"I don't know." Nika replies with a shrug. "I hope it's not the trinitrotoluene. I borrowed the last from Ryou a few days ago and have yet to replace it."  
  
"Trinitro...wha..?" Silent asks with a kawaii look of confusion.  
  
Nika grins at her and says simply, "TNT." (=D)  
  
Silent gives her a strange look, but Nika doesn't see it as Bakura takes that moment to come skipping out the front door causing Nika to grab Silent and pull her back down into the bush.  
  
Bakura stops on the front lawn and begins to assemble something. He sings a merry tune as he does so. "There goes the world! It all fell down! It landed on it's head! I've got high-explosives, the cops can't catch me and you're all doomed! Oh yes, you're all doomed!"   
  
His voice tapers off and the two girls wonder if perhaps he is gone.  
  
Silent clings to Nika's arm and asks, "Is he gone?" (o.o)  
  
Nika peeks out to see Bakura engrossed in whatever he's doing. "Nuh-uh." she whispers back, "He's still there." Several minutes pass as the two girls cower in the bush in fear. Sounds of tinkering and mini-explosions reach their ears. Finally Nika says hesitantly, "Maybe I should...stop him?"  
  
Silent clutches to her as if the world were gonna end...which is kinda possible at this moment...and cries aloud, "NO!! YOU MAY BE CRAZY, BUT DON'T BE **INSANE!!"**  
  
Nika nods in agreement, but says, "Yes, you're right. But...if the world goes...so do all the bishounen!" (O.O)  
  
Silent mimics Nika's look of shock and terror and cries, "We can't let that happen!! Let's transform into our corny sailor senshi fukus!"  
  
Standing up, and dragging the still clinging Silent along with her, Nika leaps around the corner of the building before anyone can see her. Safely hidden she cries, "Yes! You're absolutely right!" Then she proceeds to throw up her hands into the air and cry, "NEKO HANYOU POWER, MAKE UP!" A flashy transformation sequence later, she stands proudly in her senshi form, striking a pose, with Silent still hanging on an arm.  
  
Silent follows suit and throws a hand into the air. She cries, "SILENT....uhh....Silent.....wait..." Looking at Nika, she lowers her hand back to her side and asks, "What was my yell again?" (='.'=)  
  
(O.o) Nika looks almost as confused as her as she says, "Um...wait...I know this... Silent.... Silent.... Oh! Silent Angel Power!" (=D)  
  
"Oh yes!" Silent says with a grin. (=D) She throws her hand back into the air and cries, "SILENT ANGEL POWER, MAKE UP!" One transformation sequence later, complete with slight nakedness and flashy rainbow lights, she stands proudly beside her comrade in.......a Peter Pan suit. (-.-)  
  
Nika animefalls and then begins laughing as Silent sweatdrops and says, "I think I need to transform again..." (-.-)  
  
Nika manages to pick herself up off the ground where she's been rolling with laughter and quickly strikes another pose. "I'll go on ahead while you transform! We can't leave that psycho to wreak his havoc on the unsuspecting and somewhat innocent citizens of Fangirl Land!"  
  
Silent nods and Nika leaps out from behind the building to confront the youma....uh, I mean, Bakura. (-.-)  
  
"Stop right there!" she cries as she strikes another pose. "I will not allow to destroy this world! ...that's my job..." Then she proceeds to strike a variety of poses with sparkly lights as her background as she says, "I am the sailor suited pretty soldier of fire and cats, Sailor Neko Hanyou! In the name of all gorgeous guys, I'll punish you!"  
  
Crickets chirp as she remains in her finishing pose. No one's there. Bakura is gone.  
  
Nika looks confused again as she asks no one in particular, "Where'd he go?" (O.o) "Damn our long transformations and speeches!" (.)  
  
Silent then leaps out and joins her at her side...in her underwear. (OoO) "I'll never get this right!" she wails pathetically.  
  
At that moment Bakura comes around the side of the house with an ice cream cone and a happy smile. Upon seeing nearly nude Silent he begins to eye her.  
  
Nika suddenly freaks out, leaps out of her pose and in front of Silent shielding her with her body and begins bashing Bakura on the head with a giant folding fan. "Baka Bakura!" she yells angrily, punctuating every syllable with a whack of the fan. "BAD! BAD! BAAAD!!"  
  
Bakura falls to the ground unconscious, seeing as the fan was made of a carefully disguised metal, and Nika looks over her shoulder at Silent. "Use your Sake Sis...um... I mean, Sailor Senshi Pen. That should work!" (;D)  
  
Silent nods and pulls her Sake Sister Pen out of thin air... and it suddenly sparkles and turns into a garishly pink and yellow form of itself with a bright yellow star on the end. Silent uses the pen to dress herself for battle...although the battle seems to be over as Bakura is currently unconscious face-down on the ground with his nose in his ice cream.  
  
"Alright!" Silent cries in triumph. "I've got my...miko outfit on?" (o.o)  
  
Nika looks at her in disbelief and says, "Ummm...Silent-chan? I think that's actually mine...and it's backwards..." (O.o) "But at least it's clothing!" she finishes with a smile. (:D) "Now, back to the task at hand!"  
  
They both turn to face Bakura...only to find him gone again.  
  
"Damnit!" Silent curses angrily. "He's a tricky one, that yami is."  
  
Elsewhere:  
Bakura is sitting in a department store, humming while trying to set fire to inflammable pillows.  
  
Back with our sailor senshi:  
"He moves fast." Nika says in wonder. "I don't think anyone's ever regained consciousness that fast after being hit by my fan." (O.o)  
  
Silent looks at the fan in Nika's hands and asks, "Hey, since when do you use a fan?"  
  
Nika grins moronically and says, "Since I mugged Sailor Luna and stole it from her!"  
  
Suddenly a loud explosion is heard in the distance as a building explodes in a fireball of...fire...and...debris...yeah. (-.-)  
  
"Found him!" Nika cries triumphantly. (=D)  
  
"**BAKURA-KUN!!"** Silent screams into the sky, allowing her cry to echo off buildings and...other stuff.  
  
In a park:  
Bakura shudders suddenly and looks around as if someone were sneaking up on him. "Feels like someone just walked over my grave..." he murmurs.  
  
Suddenly Nika jumps out of a bush and into a pose. "HAH!" she laughs, "I found you! Now I can do my speech again and look really cool!" Then she goes through the poses as she says her speech again. "I am the sailor suited pretty soldier of fire and cats, Sailor Neko Hanyou! In the name of all gorgeous guys, I'll punish you!"  
  
As she strikes her ending pose, Bakura stares at her. He continues to stare as she continues to hold the pose. No one moves. No one speaks. A wind blows a leaf through the air between them. Finally Bakura says, ".......... Nika ...........???" (O.o)  
  
(-.-) "How'd you guess?" she asks sarcastically.  
  
Not catching the sarcasm, he replies, "It's...kinda obvious..."  
  
Nika glares at him and says, "No? Really?" Then she looks around for her partner. "Umm...wait right there." she says to the crazed yami.  
  
She then proceeds to return to the bush she jumped out of. "What's wrong now?" she says to the bush.  
  
"It's still not working." the bush replies.  
  
"Did you say the right phrase?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Did you trip on your second transformation twirly again?"  
  
".......no..."  
  
"How about the pen? Did it work?"  
  
"...........judge for yourself..." Silent then steps out...wearing a big bulky smurf costume!  
  
Both girls sweatdrop.  
  
"Umm..." Nika starts, "Why don't we just skip the transformation and go straight to the wardrobe change for now?"  
  
Silent nods in affirmation.  
  
The screen fades to black/fades in from black.  
  
Both girls are now standing proudly in their sailor fukus. They each strike their finishing poses as dramatic music plays. "We'll punish you!" they both say as one.  
  
Bakura, however, is gone...again. Both girls sweatdrop...again.  
  
"C'mon Silent!" Nika exclaims and grabs her by the wrist. "Let's go!" Nika leaps into the air and begins flying with Silent across the city, searching for the elusive psychotic bishy.  
  
Silent looks dazed and confused as she dangles precariously in Nika's grasp, uncertain how exactly they're flying.  
  
Suddenly Nika looks down and says, "Oh, look. I've got a tear in my fuku." She then proceeds to drop her grip on Silent to inspect it.  
  
Silent falls through the air with a terrified scream of, **_"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
_**  
She then falls right on top of Bakura, neither of which die because it's impossible for a main character to die so easily. Bakura is, however, completely dead...in an unconscious '_he'll-wake-up-in-a-few-episodes'_ way.  
  
Nika hovers among the clouds, having just discovered Silent's disappearance. "Silent-chan?" she wonders in confusion, "Where'd cha go?" Looking down she sees Silent sitting in the middle of a dead/unconscious Bakura. "Oh! There you are!" she exclaims and flies down to join her.  
  
Silent stands up and wobbles a bit before saying, "Bakura-chan isn't very strong if he gets K.O.ed by an 89 pound 15 year old." (O.o)  
  
Nika grins and says, "Well, you did fall from quite a height." (=D)  
  
Silent nods and replies, "True."  
  
Nika clasps Silent's hands in hers and beams happily, "Great job, Silent! You save the world and apprehended the bad guy!"  
  
Silent grins along with her and sits down on Bakura. "_I have conquered Bakura!"_ she exclaims happily.  
  
Nika cheers and starts to do a happy dance, then realizes she's still in senshi mode and strikes a pose.  
  
Theme music starts to play and a Mysterious Announcer Guy says in a booming voice, "And the world was safe again thanks to the two Sailor Senshi of Fangirl Land, Sailor Silent Angel and Sailor Neko Hanyou! Tune in next week as Silent Angel faces the dreaded math test of doom! And Neko Hanyou must deal with the repercussions of an angry yami!"  
  
Nika trips and lands on her butt. "We have an announcer?" she wonders. (O.o) "Strike that!" she exclaims. "We're on TV!?"  
  
"Yeah!" Silent explains, "From our show!" (=D)  
  
Nika shrugs and says unconcerned, "Oh. Coolers."  
  
Both girls de-transform, each grab one of Bakura's arms and begin dragging him off into the sunset.  
  
"Man, now that that's over..." Nika says, her voice fading out as theme music continues to play, "I got the munchies! Let's grab a pizza!"  
  
"Oh!" Silent cries in joy, leaping up and down while holding onto Bakura's arm, causing his face to repeatedly smash into the sidewalk. "And some snowball bunnies with leafy ears!" (=D)  
  
"Yeah!" Nika agrees.  
  
Ryou's voice drifts mysteriously in from far away. "Bring me back a pink one please!!"  
  
"Sure thing Ryou-chan!" Silent replies to the sky. The sun then giggles in glee.  
  
"So, Nika-chan?" Silent questions just as they're about to go out of sight/frame. "What was it you were working on earlier?"  
  
"Oh!" Nika giggles, "You'll see...**_next episode!!"_**

* * *

(A/N) yep... this is what happens when I'm awake for three days with a massive caffiene rush... O.o


End file.
